Motivated for a Change

I am about to embark on an adventure I never thought I would; I am going Paleo.  I am experimenting with this new diet for the next thirty days in an attempt to help clear my skin and note any other health benefits I notice along the way.  I have perpetually dealt with acne and irregular periods; and now I am also riding the infertility wave.  This is my quest to overcome their greediness and take charge of their influence in my life.

I first learned of Paleo a few years ago when my aunt gifted me with a book on it and have been skeptical of it since.  What changed?  Well, I am 27 years old, married and continue the incessant fight against acne.   Growing up I was really active in athletics; I went skiing every weekend through the winter, was playing soccer every spring and fall, went swimming throughout the year and each year of high school I was dancing on the Drill team.  That being said, growing up I tended to eat poorly since I never gained any weight.  Unfortunately, since the age of 14 I have struggled with acne; at first chocking it up to teen hormones, but now I am realizing it may be more. During high school I started getting more into exercising and eating slightly healthier food, but I definitely didn't skimp out of the sweets and wheat products.  I would commonly use the excuse that "I worked out, I deserve this".  Since I was exercising regularly and not gaining significant weight, I felt I could eat and drink anything I wanted; and though I didn't struggle with a weight issue, I did continue to struggle with acne. Even in the more mild times my skin still wasn't clear, but neither I nor any of my doctors ever pinned it to be an insulin issue.

Dealing with acne is embarrassing, painful, awkward and depressing. It is difficult to have confidence in yourself when you are wearing a mountain range on your face.  When you stand there face-to-face with someone its difficult to have a conversation since all you can think about is what your face looks like and wondering what the person staring at you is thinking.

When acne started for me, I was around 14, it was in the shape of little bumps all over my forehead.  I remember asking my dad about it and he tried to reassure me by saying they were just “sweat bumps”.  However, that was quickly diminished when I told my cousin that and she laughed and said, “Yeah, um those are zits”. So, that is how it all began and I really wish there was an end.  

In high school, I started using prescription medication and birth control to lessen the breakouts and regulate my cycle; they worked for awhile. I was able to get to a point of clearer skin that didn't make me want to hide any time someone looked at me. That was around age 17. I continued with birth control, but when I was about 20/21 I started breaking out again; however, this time it was with cystic inflammations and surface level zits. I was also getting headaches regularly. I saw a dermatologist who put me on strong medication (not Acutane) that made the situation way worse and left me in excruciating pain. I remember working one morning, I was working the opening shifts at Starbucks at the time, and about three hours into my shift I just had to go home. My face felt on fire (I honestly don’t think that does it justice), it was as if someone was ripping off the first three layers of my skin as I was standing there taking drink orders. On top of that, I still had huge breakouts and fire engine red skin; it was the worst time of my life. Granted, I understand that when you go on acne medication it typically gets worse before it gets better, but it was awful and I wish it upon no one. Eventually, my skin did clear up again and I could stop the medication. Though the acne remained in control, it was still there, hovering; new volcanoes sprouting regularly.  When I was 24, nearing college graduation, I had another huge cystic breakout. At this time, I was living with my now husband, and that was the last thing I wanted to go through. As though that wasn't enough, I didn't have health insurance, so I had no way of affording medication.  I just lived with it; graduated with it; and got a full time job with benefits, so I could fix it… again.  However, I had to wait 90 days to get the health insurance.  It was just after spring graduation that I started my job/career and that summer I took a graduation trip to Japan to visit my brother.  I loved showing up after not seeing him for a couple years with the skin I had. I finally got health insurance and a chance to clear up my skin, for the umpteenth time, a few weeks after returning home.  A few months later, I was engaged to be married to the man who stuck by me through it all; the man who called me beautiful every single day.

Now, here I am, with yet another huge cystic acne breakout.  This time however, I am doing things differently.  Obviously, acne medication clears up the breakout, but it doesn't fix the problem.  I am determined to get to the root of the issue and squash it once and for all!  So please join me on my journey to finding peace with with body with which I was blessed.